Gab intie in Gay-dus Aeternus

shit man i'm also on the verge of falling 100% into my work and into my caring family man life

we'll all end up as braindead working men !

:heinnn:

Cool you read this interview!
It's about 1 year old now...

Yes, the social/ work bullshit always takes more and more over the individual... But currently I'm not working... few weeks are free!! So things will work well with NIHILISTIC!

Since this interview, I worked 6 months in computers, and it was really better! I could be a part of myself, and there were no troubles in work.
If it could always be like this...

Do you mean you have children??
Good luck,
I'm afraid of it... I don't know how my life would look with children stealing the few remaining free time I have...

worshipsatanzine wrote:

:heinnn:

Sil sil talked about an interview I answered for a French zine.

same problem here, I started my current job nearly 2 years ago

it's feeling like another personnality growing inside of me and slowly but surely taking over the first one until it completely disappears...and both personnalities hate each other.

do you think a schizophrene feels like this too?

I think it's normal to have this feeling when you work hard a lot.
You tend to deeply bury your inner self and thoughts... Especially when it's a job you don't like and in which you can't use your emotions (Your job seems to be very cerebral and thoughts-taking, right?).

It's needed to expulse all the frustration, unless you can't do the job correctly... So, in the process, some opposites thoughts and feelings emerge.
I often have strange feelings as: not being normal, being a 'monster', an atrocity, doing nonsenses (while it's full of feeling and envy), going straight in the wall... But I think most of peoples have these inside...

Schizophrenes surely have more complex feelings and painful thoughts, I think they have problems to behave Ok in society, or to remain decent with peoples they have some hateful feelings for...

So, it's necessary to find a quiet job to get a lot of spare time after. If you're becoming a slave of your job it's better to left quickly as you can.

finding a quiet job? it's almost impossible unless you work for the public service...everywhere you'll be asked to slave like a dog all day, if you don't want or give up someone else will be only waiting to take your place.

it's especially difficult when you begin a real job, you have to show you can do it and put all your efforts in it. after some time, with more experience, you can somewhat calm things down, but still it's hard : you say to yourself "ok it's just a job I won't kill myself for it" but while in the action you tend to forget that very easily.

as for being abnormal, I guess we all feel this as visible metalheads, the pain is you're not in school anymore where you could tell anyone to fuck off and die, you have to adapt socially which is more or less painful regarding the kind of guy you are...

Interesting points guys. I have having to hide my tattoos at work and smiling and nodding all the time. It fucking sucks. Esp. hearing the shitty top 40 music blairing from the radio and putting up with nonsense from the jocks and rappers I work with!!

If you have a shitty job, just remember that this is what your doing only for the time being to pay the bills, and that the next job will be better, and if not, then you move on from there. The more you are paid at a job, the less it sucks. If you don't think the pay is correct, then slack and don't kill yourself doing extras to make the company richer....

grrr, could rant for hours about this one, as I was promised a raise over a month ago and have yet to recieve it. I have to deal with this tommorow first thing FUCK!!!

you sum it well Whoreship : the more you're paid the less it sucks. personnally I think my wage is ridiculous considering the quite huge work I'm doing for these fucks. 2 years and not a single raise, and some people have been working 15 years there without any significant raise! I'm sticking to it cause it's interesting enough, pretty technical, and 10 minutes from home. even if most of my colleagues are birdbrained office rats, but this scum can survive anywhere.

That's rough!!! 2 years and no raise!! I'd be pissed off hardcore!! Work really is all about the $$, but unfortunally companies know this all too well and could care aless because they know there will always be someone else to fill the shoes.

Why doesn't your work offer raises TIGI?

About living close to work, I hear that too, I live 30 minutes from work, and Toronto is Canada's largest city, some people spend 2 hours a day just to get to work and then obviosuly another 2 hours to get home, so that turns a 10 hour work day into a 14 hour work day, fuck that shit!!

worshipsatanzine wrote:

some people spend 2 hours a day just to get to work and then obviosuly another 2 hours to get home, so that turns a 10 hour work day into a 14 hour work day, fuck that shit!!

I had the pleasure to experience this for a little!

2 hours of driving to reach the place... And then few things to do on computers, and then drive back.... HU!! :irke:

talking about distance, did you know that a french condom manufactuer recently bidded its employees to move to Malaysia, for malaysian wages, or else they're all fired? well, that's rather tragi-comic.

my wage hasn't been raised simply because the company's flirting with bankruptcy every year, they keep the budgets at the lowest. if nothing moves this year I think I'll simply slam the door.

Tigi wrote:

talking about distance, did you know that a french condom manufactuer recently bidded its employees to move to Malaysia, for malaysian wages, or else they're all fired? well, that's rather tragi-comic.

my wage hasn't been raised simply because the company's flirting with bankruptcy every year, they keep the budgets at the lowest. if nothing moves this year I think I'll simply slam the door.

My companys the same way pretty much, as they have only ben established since 1998 and has heavy duty competiton, plus there isn't much money in dealing with grocery stores damages and donating them to foodbanks.


That's shitty about the condom manafacturer. Something similar recentally happened in Canada with GM, A major car industry shutting down a large part of their factory and thousands of long time employes loosing their jobs over the companys greed

I got this theory : in order not to kill yourself you need to give your brain some things to do...that's why i like my job intense and cerebral.

It is also hard not to fall into the money trap but to be honest i like money

one thing is sure, the way pf life that is sold on TV and that was created during the 30 glorious years after the 2nd WW where capitalism appeard, is an UTOPIA.
there is no recipee to have a good life. But what is sure is that a shiny happy stupid life does not exist and would be extremly boring.

Til your death you'll ask yourself questions, you'll have to make compromise (i'm the first one to spit at the human greed but work in a bank !!!)

evolving without taking things to seriously is the key; after all isn't life a sort of theater ?

Tigi wrote:

my wage hasn't been raised simply because the company's flirting with bankruptcy every year, they keep the budgets at the lowest. if nothing moves this year I think I'll simply slam the door.

never slam the door or say you'll slam it before having found another job.
a frine do f mine did it and does not manage to find another job, yet as he has said he was not happy and considered to leave the boss do not raise his wage and consider him as a shitty looser. He's put aside...

of course you have to find another job first, it's a matter of survival! your friend's a classic case unfortunately...even if you've done tons of shitty jobs before (like I did...haha), never EVER say something negative about your previous job while applying.

keep in mind recruiters are paranoid : they don't want geniusses or exceptionnal beings. geniusses are not mentally stable enough to endure stress and boredom. what they want is a shoulder to lean on, the most common individual possible. your skills or intelligence dont matter. but the more sociable/friendly/ego-deprived you are, the better you will integrate the "clan" a private company is.

Sil Sil : sure an interesting job is still better than a boring one...as for surviving in a consumer society, I see 2 possibilities :
1/ you let your school, media and surroundings brainwash you and you become a post-hippie age zombie
2/ you resist, and you find yourself alternating moments of deep depression and benevolent cynicism periods

Tigi wrote:

of course you have to find another job first, it's a matter of survival! your friend's a classic case unfortunately...even if you've done tons of shitty jobs before (like I did...haha), never EVER say something negative about your previous job while applying.

keep in mind recruiters are paranoid : they don't want geniusses or exceptionnal beings. geniusses are not mentally stable enough to endure stress and boredom. what they want is a shoulder to lean on, the most common individual possible. your skills or intelligence dont matter. but the more sociable/friendly/ego-deprived you are, the better you will integrate the "clan" a private company is.

Sil Sil : sure an interesting job is still better than a boring one...as for surviving in a consumer society, I see 2 possibilities :
1/ you let your school, media and surroundings brainwash you and you become a post-hippie age zombie
2/ you resist, and you find yourself alternating moments of deep depression and benevolent cynicism periods

Thanks for this post my friend, I learned from it and it got me thinking about how to present myself better next interview, I have a major delima when it comes to interviews, mainly because I have strectched earlobes and tattoos on my hands, employers automatically judge me and pigeon hole me as either a jailbird or a freak grrr....So what I need to do is almost play ditzy, friendly and easy going, but then they assume I am a pot smoker because I laugh alot and i'm very mellow and quiet, I don't know, but thanks for this post!

heu...you're welcome...you even learn from being redundant 12 months

that's our fucked up culture, i don't know the way it goes in your country...as for the look, it also depends on culture...I heard the english have a lot of freedom/tolerance on this point

Tigi wrote:

heu...you're welcome...you even learn from being redundant 12 months

that's our fucked up culture, i don't know the way it goes in your country...as for the look, it also depends on culture...I heard the english have a lot of freedom/tolerance on this point

Canadians are somewhat tolerant, but i'm sure Canadians are just as judgemental as the rest of the world